By Dr. Christine Powell, ADHD Coach & Executive Functioning Expert

🎯Why Children Benefit From Goal Setting

Goal setting is more than a productivity tool; it is a developmental necessity. It provides the following benefits:

*Develops Executive Function. Planning and following through on a goal strengthens the brain’s ability to focus and manage impulses.

*Builds Self-Efficacy. Achieving a small milestone teaches a child they have the power to influence their own lives.

*Encourages Resilience. Goals provide a framework for learning how to handle failure and try again.

Parents serve as a child’s first teacher. This role is fundamental because children learn through social modeling. They observe your actions to understand how to navigate the world. Research from the University of Washington shows that children as young as 14 months old imitate the intentional actions of adults. When you set goals, you provide a blueprint for your child to follow.

As an education therapist, I’ve spent years observing how children learn, grow, and navigate the world around them. And time and time again, one truth shines through: parents are a child’s first, and arguably most influential, teachers. From their earliest days, children are sponges, absorbing not just information, but also behaviors, attitudes, and approaches to life’s challenges from the significant adults in their lives.

This principle is particularly powerful when it comes to developing essential life skills, such as setting goals and intentions . The new year offers a wonderful, natural starting point for this crucial lesson. It’s a time of reflection and anticipation, a perfect moment to guide our children and ourselves in charting a course for personal growth.

Research consistently shows that children learn by modeling. They watch us, listen to us, and imitate us. So, if we want our children to understand the value of setting thoughtful goals, to experience the satisfaction of working towards them, and to develop resilience when faced with obstacles, we must first demonstrate that process ourselves.

Here are key steps parents can take to help their children, and perhaps revitalize their own approach, to setting meaningful goals and intentions for the upcoming year.

Step 1: Reflect Before You Project – Looking Back to Move Forward

Before we jump into what we want to achieve, it’s incredibly valuable to pause and reflect on the past year. This isn’t about dwelling on failures, but about acknowledging successes, learning from missteps, and recognizing growth.

For Parents: Think about what went well for you last year. What challenges did you overcome? What new skills did you develop? What moments brought you joy or a sense of accomplishment? Conversely, what didn’t quite go according to plan? What could you have approached differently?

With Your Children: Make this a gentle, positive conversation. “What was your favorite memory from last year?” “What’s something new you learned?” “What made you feel proud?” If they struggled with something, frame it as a learning opportunity: “Remember when that was tough, but you kept trying? What did you learn from that?” This helps children understand that reflection is a natural part of growth, not a judgment.

Step 2: Dream Big, Then Break It Down – From Vision to Action

Once we have a sense of where we’ve been, we can start to envision where we want to go. This is the exciting part – the dreaming! But a dream without a plan often remains just that.

For Parents: What are your aspirations for the new year? Perhaps it’s learning a new hobby, advancing in your career, dedicating more time to family, or focusing on your health. Articulate these dreams for yourself.

With Your Children: Encourage them to dream out loud. “If you could learn anything this year, what would it be?” “What’s something you want to get better at?” “What exciting things do you want to do?” Once they have a big idea, help them break it down. If a child wants to “read more books,” you can help them specify: “How many books a month?” or “What kind of books?” If they want to “be a better soccer player,” suggest, “What’s one skill you could practice each week?”

Step 3: Make it SMART (and Age-Appropriate!) –A Practical Framework

You’ve likely heard of SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework is incredibly effective for adults, and it can be adapted for children.

For Parents: Apply the SMART criteria to your own goals. Instead of “exercise more,” try “run 3 times a week for 30 minutes” (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound).

With Your Children: While you don’t need to use the acronym explicitly, guide them towards similar thinking.

🎯Specific: “Instead of ‘be nicer,’ maybe ‘use kind words when my brother asks for a toy.’”

🎯Measurable: “How will we know if you’ve done it? ‘Reading 10 pages before bed each night’ is measurable.”

🎯Achievable: “Is this something you can realistically do? Learning to fly like a bird might be tough this year!”

🎯Relevant: “Why is this goal important to you? How will it make you feel?”

🎯Time-bound: “By when do you want to achieve this? Let’s check in on this goal every month.”

Step 4: Visualize Success and Plan for Bumps – The Power of Persistence

Goal setting isn’t a one-and-done activity. It requires ongoing attention, motivation, and the ability to navigate setbacks.

For Parents: Regularly review your goals. How are you progressing? What adjustments do you need to make? What resources do you need? Acknowledge when things get tough, and model perseverance. “I really wanted to finish that project this week, but it’s taking longer than I thought. I’m going to set aside an extra hour tomorrow morning.”

With Your Children: Help them visualize achieving their goals. What will it feel like? What will they gain? Then, prepare them for challenges. “What if you miss a day of practicing your instrument? Does that mean you give up, or do you try again tomorrow?” Emphasize that persistence, not perfection, is the key. Celebrate small wins along the way! A sticker chart, a special outing, or simply verbal praise can go a long way.

Step 5: The “Why” Behind the “What” – Connecting to Values

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, connect goals to deeper values. When we understand why a goal is important to us, we are far more likely to stick with it.

For Parents: Why is that career advancement important to you? Is it about financial security, personal fulfillment, or making a greater impact? Why is daily exercise a priority? Is it for your physical health, mental well-being, or to have more energy for your family?

With Your Children: Ask them about the “why” behind their aspirations. “Why do you want to learn to ride your bike without training wheels? What will that allow you to do?” “Why is it important to share your toys?” This helps children develop intrinsic motivation and understand that their actions can reflect their values.

Setting goals with our children isn’t just about achieving specific outcomes; it’s about equipping them with a foundational skill for life. It teaches them self-awareness, planning, resilience, and the joy of personal accomplishment. By modeling this process ourselves, we don’t just tell them about goal setting – we show them. We invite them into a shared journey of growth and discovery, transforming our homes into vibrant classrooms where intentions flourish and dreams take flight.

Here’s to a new year filled with meaningful goals and countless learning opportunities for you and your incredible children.

Happy 2026. If you found this helpful, please share with others who might also benefit. Thx, Christine 🌱